March 30, 2011

How Being Laid-off Feels Like a Break-up

Elle: You're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
I have a lot of time to contribute to my blog nowadays. This is mostly due to the fact that I was laid-off last Monday. But the company I worked for wouldn't call it that. It was apparently just my time to go because they couldn't afford to keep me on. If it's not technically a lay-off, maybe I should call it a break-up because it sure reads like one (subsequent break-up stages retrieved from here). They also provided me with zero notice (maybe I should've seen the signs). But this is how it went down:

On Thursday my supervisor asked me if I could work at the Newport center on Friday and Monday, to provide an extra hand. I agreed, under the impression I would return to my current job, as I still had steady amounts of work to do. Things were pretty normal, I suspected nothing.

Monday at 3:30pm I was asked to call my job placement agency - whom I technically work for. This was sign/flag number one. In the entire 4 and  half months of my employment, I had never been asked to call them. I didn't get through and left a message. I logged on to fill out my time sheet for the day. The entire sheet for the week was locked out - I couldn't log my hours. This was sign/flag number 2. She, my recruitment consultant, didn't call me back until I was waiting at my bus stop. She immediately told me that "today was your last day."

A thousand thoughts bombarded me. What about all the work I had to do? Do you mean my last day at the Newport center, or my last day with the company? What about the friends I had made - will I see them again? What about the personal belongings I had left?

She basically told me I wasn't allowed back into the building and that she would pick up my things for me.

Enter: Break-up Stage 1 - Denial
She spent at least 10 minutes telling me it was over, as I was having issues understanding how it could be over, just like that. I couldn't believe they were laying me off so suddenly, without even asking me to clean up my desk. I didn't want to believe they would give themselves the added stress to sort through the projects I was working on and figure out how I had organized things. After 4 and a half months together, I thought I deserved more consideration. I mean, we'd been through meetings upon meetings, endured late-nights, managed stressful deadlines and we'd gotten through many paper jams together. After all that, this was the way they were ending it?

Enter: Break-up Stage 2 - Anger
How dare they end things so abruptly? Maybe they're just one big jerk of a company that I'd be better off without. If this is the way they treat people, well it's good to know. I'm glad I got out of it when I did. Insert 'more angry feelings that read like a break-up' here.

Enter: Break-up Stage 3 - Bargaining
This is when you try to make compromises to save the relationship. I guess I did this when I offered to go back to clean up my desk and clarify the status of my projects. Maybe if I did this, the relationship could be salvaged - we could end on good terms. I could say my good-byes. However, they rejected this offer.

Enter: Break-up Stage 4 - Depression
This is when we realize that things really are over. We feel like we'll never meet anyone else who will make us feel the same way as this person did. We fail to take care of ourselves properly in our misery. This stage hit me when I went to pick up my personal belongings. They were in a little pile in the corner, and handed over to me in exchange for the building key I had. This paralleled Beyonce's "Irreplaceable," especially these two lyrics:

"Mmmm to the left 
Everything you own in the box to the left 
In the closet, that's my stuff 
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)" (I just like that she repeats 'don't touch')

"Baby, drop them keys /
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves" (I did need to catch my bus right after)

I didn't really partake in the other emocore (emotionally-hardcore) motions, but I did veg in front of the TV in my sweats, eating chocolate while watching the characters on TV enjoy their day jobs. I had friends tell me that I would find another job- a better job, and that I deserved better. I stopped going to bed at 10pm, and started staying up late and sleeping in on weekdays - because I could.

Break-up Stage 5 - Acceptance
I'm in this stage now. I don't seek to change things, although I wish I could talk to some of the friends I made that I will now probably never see again because I didn't have the chance to get their contact information. I guess I figured there would always be time for that...

I knew this job was a temporary hook-up when it started. But when it ended, it was still a sad, little surprise. I'm also usually the break- upper because of the commencement of classes. So being the break-uppee was a new experience. But all in all my ex-job was a good experience and I enjoyed and valued it while I was there. I have no regrets and don't wish ill-will on either of the companies. It was just time. And because this is officially over, I can now move on to other things and new adventures in my life. I have faith that this is a small part of the greater picture God has planned for me.

March 23, 2011

My Spring 2011 Contemporary Traffic Jam: A Playlist

So, what do you like to listen to?

It's been over a month since my last post, and what better way to follow a post on love than by writing a post about music? I will later be sharing with you, an exclusive sample from my Spring 2011 music playlist. That's right, be intrigued.

Music: the art or science of combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion.

Just like the lovely definition above suggests, music can really deliver an impact- It's a different form of communication and expression. When we play it, we're not just taking it in, but revealing a window... into our souls.

You don't have to cringe and tell me that was cliche. I know it was. But it being cliche doesn't make it untrue. Windows are made out of transparent glass for the sole purpose of being able to see in as well as out, and music definitely travels further than surface level. We listen to music for different reasons, but what we listen to is indicative of ourselves. We ask that first question because we want to learn a little more about someone. Will people know your innermost everythings because you choose to blare Rebecca Black's "Friday"? Doubtful. But that's a different topic and post, one I will not be writing.

But back to the purpose of this post: What I like to listen to. My music tastes have gone through seasons. Currently I seem to be in a rock/pop/indie faze. I'm not sure if I'm using those genre labels correctly, but whatever.

So here is a glimpse into my Spring 2011 Contemporary Traffic Jam for your perusal. (I will be listening AKA jamming to many of these songs while driving AKA being stuck in traffic).

Go ahead and see if our tastes match. Or maybe you'd like to suggest some songs and introduce me to something different. (A few of these songs were actually suggestions from friends and are now featured on my playlist. You could be that friend, I know!). Or maybe you just want the answer to my post question. 

P.S. They should all be linked, so you can listen with ease. However, you might want to right-click "open link in new window" so you don't lose this page. I wasn't tech-savvy enough to make the HTML code work. But without further ado...

Chui's Spring 2011 Contemporary Traffic Jam: A Playlist
- A fun song, played in my favorite Winnipeg store - Forever 21. If Elly isn't in the version you're listening to, then "something's missing something."

- Discovered on a One Tree Hill soundtrack, the tune and melodic discord in this song has made it one of my favorites.

- That's where I want to live.

- One of those songs where your friends go, "Is that coming from the song, or outside?" when you play it in your car. I'd like to see your fancy footwork... ah...

5) Green Eyes - Take Me To the Pilot
- A cute song by a Winnipeg band. You can find them on itunes. Unfortunately I can't link to the store.

- It took me a few plays to like this one. Lyrics are a little repetitive, but it's groovy, baby... and it plays during the 17 Again credits!

- It's cute and catchy. Let's make it happen.

- I like these boys. I like their music.

- Magic soaking my spine: Please be assured I do not endorse the use of illegal drugs.

- I was sad to hear this group disbanded a month after I discovered them. I couldn't stop listening to them last summer.

- I don't know what's up with his hair, but I like the song.

- Good tune. Solid. (These were the only 2 comments on youtube).

- A la Andrew Parker. (I'm giving his blog a plug as well as credit for this song).

- When I listened to this walking from the bus stop, I felt like a brooding character from a movie.

- More from One Tree Hill.

- Do not be "oh it's sappy"-ed out by the piano at the beginning.

- Very talented man. A nice laid-back sound. "His voice is so smooth you could almost pour it on your pancakes." Ha ha nicely said Youtube user.

- I saw these guys on Conan (I've only seen it a handful of times), and they were pretty cool. 

- I heard this on the CMAs, and I loved it! Maybe my roots showing...

There you have it folks. A small seasonal sample playlist from my iTunes. 
Let me know what you think!