|Elle: You're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?|
On Thursday my supervisor asked me if I could work at the Newport center on Friday and Monday, to provide an extra hand. I agreed, under the impression I would return to my current job, as I still had steady amounts of work to do. Things were pretty normal, I suspected nothing.
Monday at 3:30pm I was asked to call my job placement agency - whom I technically work for. This was sign/flag number one. In the entire 4 and half months of my employment, I had never been asked to call them. I didn't get through and left a message. I logged on to fill out my time sheet for the day. The entire sheet for the week was locked out - I couldn't log my hours. This was sign/flag number 2. She, my recruitment consultant, didn't call me back until I was waiting at my bus stop. She immediately told me that "today was your last day."
A thousand thoughts bombarded me. What about all the work I had to do? Do you mean my last day at the Newport center, or my last day with the company? What about the friends I had made - will I see them again? What about the personal belongings I had left?
She basically told me I wasn't allowed back into the building and that she would pick up my things for me.
Enter: Break-up Stage 1 - Denial
She spent at least 10 minutes telling me it was over, as I was having issues understanding how it could be over, just like that. I couldn't believe they were laying me off so suddenly, without even asking me to clean up my desk. I didn't want to believe they would give themselves the added stress to sort through the projects I was working on and figure out how I had organized things. After 4 and a half months together, I thought I deserved more consideration. I mean, we'd been through meetings upon meetings, endured late-nights, managed stressful deadlines and we'd gotten through many paper jams together. After all that, this was the way they were ending it?
Enter: Break-up Stage 2 - Anger
How dare they end things so abruptly? Maybe they're just one big jerk of a company that I'd be better off without. If this is the way they treat people, well it's good to know. I'm glad I got out of it when I did. Insert 'more angry feelings that read like a break-up' here.
Enter: Break-up Stage 3 - Bargaining
This is when you try to make compromises to save the relationship. I guess I did this when I offered to go back to clean up my desk and clarify the status of my projects. Maybe if I did this, the relationship could be salvaged - we could end on good terms. I could say my good-byes. However, they rejected this offer.
Enter: Break-up Stage 4 - Depression
This is when we realize that things really are over. We feel like we'll never meet anyone else who will make us feel the same way as this person did. We fail to take care of ourselves properly in our misery. This stage hit me when I went to pick up my personal belongings. They were in a little pile in the corner, and handed over to me in exchange for the building key I had. This paralleled Beyonce's "Irreplaceable," especially these two lyrics:
"Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, that's my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)" (I just like that she repeats 'don't touch')
"Baby, drop them keys /
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves" (I did need to catch my bus right after)
I didn't really partake in the other emocore (emotionally-hardcore) motions, but I did veg in front of the TV in my sweats, eating chocolate while watching the characters on TV enjoy their day jobs. I had friends tell me that I would find another job- a better job, and that I deserved better. I stopped going to bed at 10pm, and started staying up late and sleeping in on weekdays - because I could.
Break-up Stage 5 - Acceptance
I'm in this stage now. I don't seek to change things, although I wish I could talk to some of the friends I made that I will now probably never see again because I didn't have the chance to get their contact information. I guess I figured there would always be time for that...
I knew this job was a temporary hook-up when it started. But when it ended, it was still a sad, little surprise. I'm also usually the break- upper because of the commencement of classes. So being the break-uppee was a new experience. But all in all my ex-job was a good experience and I enjoyed and valued it while I was there. I have no regrets and don't wish ill-will on either of the companies. It was just time. And because this is officially over, I can now move on to other things and new adventures in my life. I have faith that this is a small part of the greater picture God has planned for me.