August 6, 2012

Musings of a Traveler: Not that Far to Go

Before you read this post, click to check out this complimentary Coldplay song:

I recently went on a road trip to Fargo,  North Dakota. I had researched maps and directions, bought travel insurance, and solicited friends and co-workers for tips. I packed my car and headed south with passport and coupons in hand.

Instead of relaying a third person account of my trip, I'm going to give you a first person narrative. Here is my trip in thought blurbs:

  • Ah early morning and hours of driving into the unknown. Time to put "Wild Ones" and "Miss Independent" on loop?
  • Oh my gosh, here's the border. I hope he doesn't search my car. Aw crap, the car ahead of me has kids - they will probably question the kids and ask if those are their actual parents - this will take a while. 
  • Prayer answered, I got through the border smooth! Weird how he only asked me questions about being alone. He didn't ask how long I would be in the states, or how much money I had, or if I was carrying any food, animals or firearms.
  • Woooo! Never driven this fast in my life. It's like playing leap frog on the interstate!
  • Okay, so I've just taken a random exit into Grand Forks. What do their gas stations look like?
  • Just going to pull up next to this pump. I'm a classy co-op member, I don't pump my own gas. Why are there five options? I think I want unleaded, but what's super unleaded? The superior choice? I don't know what to do. It's like choosing the wrong wire to disarm a bomb - my car could explode if I make the wrong choice.
  • West Acres is pretty nice. Their service is really friendly. Never met people that excited about the price of Pump-Foam soaps before though. The men are very chilvarous. Twice, two guys went out of their way to hold open a door for me. This one guy had walked through, saw me coming and ran back to hold it open so I could walk through, and then apologized profusely for not being there. Were you previously employed as a butler? It was a nice gesture, albeit unnecessary.
  • Wow, Loreal True Match Foundation is $8.50 at Target!
  • That awkward moment, when you're shopping in TJ Maxx and you find a jersey that's your size and a dad comes over and picks out a jersey for his eight year old son a size down from the same rack.
  • Yes! She let me buy the blazer off the mannequin! 
  • This mom is calmly exclaiming "Marco" in the electronics section in Wal-Mart. She and her son Polo must have a secret system for communicating.
  • Wow this Texas Roadhouse is busy. I'm going to go ask that host how long it will be for a table for 1. 
Host: It will be about a forty minute wait.
Me: Oh should I come back at like 9 or should I put my name on the waiting list.
Host: You could put your name on the list.
Me: Maybe I should just come back at 9.
Host: Are you here to eat?
Me: Yes (No I'm here to sweep your floor, why else would I be here?)
Host: Oh okay, yeah if you come back at 9 you'll get right in.
  • Why are people eating peanuts while they wait. Oh that is a HUGE barrel of peanuts. Shells litter the wood floor everywhere! But the service is really friendly, and it seems genuine. Maybe they get paid more.
Server brings out steak: Would you like some A1 or 57 for your steak?
What I wanted to say: Excuse me R2-D2, but I don't speak robot, and no, I don't want to put a plane on my steak. (After asking Brittney to repeat herself 3 times, I found out it they were steak sauces). derp derp.
  • This is the most uncomfortable sleep of my life. Right below sleeping in an igloo, because snow isn't falling onto my face every time I shift positions.
  • Yay morning! Time to drive home. I'm going to miss this. 
  • Customs guard just asked me if I was by myself. Well no, let me just pull this baby out from behind my seat...
  • Here's Winnipeg - ah, praise God for a safe trip. I couldn't have asked for a better one!
So there it is. I highly recommend shopping in Fargo. You can google coupons online and use them down there on top of discounted merchandise - simply awesome! The people are friendly too, and they drive like brandonites.

Until next time, I dare you to do something different alone! It's refreshing, and you'll probably learn something about yourself.